Oh My Love
by Mystic-sorceress
Summary: Erm, Lucius' marriage with Narcissa is on the rocks, so he writes a letter...is anything changed by it though? Songfic, my first one, so please review and say what you think...
1. Difficult Composition

Disclaimer: Yet again I'll say that the Harry Potter books don't belong to me, they belong to the fab J.K. Rowling, and I don't own the song by Good Charlotte that's in there somewhere either.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Lucius sat tapping the end of his quill silently. His term of inprisonment at Azkaban was drawing to a close, and Narcissa, his wife of 20 years, was still ignoring him. He was trying to write her a letter, telling her how sorry he was, and how much he loved her, but he was finding it extremely difficult. It wasn't because the love wasn't in their relationship, because it was, it was because he wasn't an expressive man when it came to feelings. In fact, the only time that he'd ever told her that he loved her was on the day they were married and the day that their son, Draco, was born.  
He started to draw on the table with his quill, absent-mindedly humming a song. It was one by a band that Draco was always listening to; "Good Charly"..."Charlotte" or something along those lines. As he sang the words to the song, and idea came to him.  
  
Dear Narcissa,  
I don't know whether you have been informed of my imminent release from Azkaban, so I'm writing to tell you that I'll be out in five days time. Will there be a place for me when I return home?  
I know that I've caused you hurt, and I have apologised before for it, I'll apologise again. I'd do anything for you, anything at all. I love you.  
I know that I don't say it often, and that's another of the many mistakes that I've made. But I do, love you I mean, from the bottom of my heart. I can't imagine life without you. I don't want to either. (are you crying yet?) As I was sitting here trying to think of something appropriate to write, I started to hum one of those songs by those people that Draco likes so much: Good Charlotte. And I realised that the words to the song are exactly what I want to say.  
"Oh my love, please don't cry, I'll wash my bloody hands and we'll start a new life. I don't know much at all, I don't know wrong from right, all I know is that I love you tonight."  
  
It's really up to you, but remember that I can change, if that's what you want.  
Yours forever, Lucius  
  
He set the quill down and folded the parchment several times. It slipped easily into the small pouch on the Little Owl's leg.  
"You know where to go Spike," he whispered, gently stroking the owl on the head. It hopped between the bars and flew off purposefully, having delivered several letters to Narcissa before. Lucius lay down on his bed and stared at the damp ceiling, waiting for her reply.  
  
Oh, by the way, I'm not gonna put the second chapter up until I get...5 reviews, so get typing! 


	2. Troubling Thoughts and Freedom

Disclaimer: You know I've done this before, so go read what I said in the first chapter ^_^ (you know disclaimers suck, so don't hate me for not doing a proper one!)  
  
Chapter 2  
  
He waited a long time. It never came. Four days until his release; three; then two; and finally one; and still there was no letter to arrive. The dementors had sensed his agitation, finding more and more reasons to enter his cell daily, almost hourly. Lucius was in a lethargy so great that their visits didn't register with him at all, and he spent the final days undisturbed. Alone.  
Lucius sat up, rubbing his eyes, which had dark circles around them. His usually neat hair was ruffled and dirty, and his clothes were in the same state. He ran some warm water into his basin and pulled them off.  
After half an hour of vigorous scrubbing Lucius gave up in frustration. Although the clothes and himself looked no cleaner, the water had turned black with his labours. He parted and brushed his hair, then hung up his clothes to dry, donning a spare night-robe to keep him decent; even though the dementors couldn't see him anyway.  
Lucius lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling, like he'd been doing repeatedly over the past few months of being in Azkaban. He wondered about his son Draco, who'd recently written him a letter informing him of his decision to not become a deatheater. Apparently he didn't want to be the cause of so much pain and suffering, like his "beloved" Father.  
Lucius grinned half-heartedly. Pride and anger vied for victory in his mind. Pride that his son had the balls to make his own decisions, and live for himself; and anger, that he didn't rightfully respect and honour his father or Lord Voldemort in the way that he should.  
Lucius closed his eyes, still seeing the image of the barred window in his mind. His train of thought changed from Draco to Narcissa as he wondered with anticipation as to whether she would want him back or not. His stomach clenched tightly as he thought this, and he found, to his surprise, that his cheeks were wet.  
As the tears soaked his pillow he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of his wife and son, and the loving, caring family that they'd never had, and would now never have the chance to.  
  
***  
  
Lucius was woken in the morning by the cold breath of the dementors. He shot up and backed away from them as much as he could in his narrow, hard bed.  
"Right! I'm going! You didn't think I wanted to stay in this shit hole did you?" He grabbed what little belongings he had strewn about the cell, and shoved them into a duffel bag. He then grabbed his newly washed robes, which had dried reasonably straight, and put them on.  
He walked down the corridor, chaperoned by a dementor. At the exit to the prison he received his wand and cloak. Then the door was held open. He was free to go. He turned his back to the door and faced the inside of the prison grimly. His face broke into a grin, and he waved sarcastically, wiping an imaginary tear from his eyes.  
"I'll miss you." Not! He thought happily as he turned and walked out of the door, mentally stopping himself from skipping as he watched the door closing behind him. When he finally became aware of his surroundings, a lump came to his throat.  
  
Haha, that's it, for now. I'm going to leave at the cliffhanger, has it got you waiting for more?? (that was aimed at Faith-Tse, who very kindly reviewed the first chapter). Messages to:  
  
Sailor Saturn Cosmo: Thankyou  
  
Alvarell: Thankyou babe, and I know how much you're suffering at the moment, but I'm always there...  
  
Badfaith102: It's Good CharLOTTE (haha, only joking) thanx for the review  
  
MissVolde: A pansy Lucius would still be a very hot Lucius...*drools* thanx for the suggestions, I'm gonna take the first chapter down and change it to Spike...lol  
  
Snow-women-rule: You need to get off the pedestal! Just because you're my bf you think that you can say that sort of shit to me, well it's not happening...haha  
  
And finally...to Riffington/Hank/Frank/Beaner/ (whatever you're being called at the moment) who is usually my beta, but she couldn't do it this time because she's incredibly busy...mucho luv and hugs  
  
Anyway, the third chapter is the final chapter, unless I can think of anything else to happen. I haven't actually wrote it yet, so it might be a little slow to update...sorry! 


	3. Kiss Away The Troubles

Disclaimer: I'm so not in the mood. None of the below belongs to me, except the plot, and even that has probably been done before.  
  
A/N: I wanted to give a special mention to Faith-Tse ( I hope I spelt it right, sorry if I didn't) who has REVIEWED all of my chapters so far. I know that in the last one I said that this would be the last, but if I don't think that it should end in this one, or if I get a good idea from a REVIEW, then it might not be. So if you have any good suggestions, then I'd like to hear then, equally I'd like to hear whether it should be left the way that it is.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
A tall, slender figure looked at him stonily. "Well, have you thought about anything whilst you've been in there? About our family, how it's falling, sorry, fallen, apart?"  
"Yes," Lucius looked down meekly. "I know that I've done wrong, Narcissa, and I truly want to make up for it. With you and Draco. I haven't been a good father, or husband, and I need to rectify that. I still love you, you know."  
Narcissa nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Her heart flipped as she looked at the familiar face, with a not so familiar look of love and devotion on his sharp features. His blonde hair shone freely in the sun, which made a change from it being gelled back like it normally was. He stepped towards her and encircled her small waist with his arms. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. Narcissa relaxed and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply.  
*  
  
Later that evening Lucius woke and looked down sleepily at his wife, who was lying asleep on his bare chest. He smiled inwardly, and kissed the top of her silky head. If the previous (A/N:rated) few hours were anything to go by, she was still in love, passionately in love, with him. His marriage was no longer on unsafe ground, although it still needed a little work. Tomorrow he was going to find Draco and tell him that it didn't matter about the whole "Voldemort" situation, as long as he came home. He felt a sudden surge of pride as he thought about his family, and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. With a satisfied sigh he settled down and fell asleep once again.  
  
The End  
  
(Ooh, that was quite satisfying, putting "The End" at the end of my fic. Although I'm an author of about 5 stories (soon to be 6) I've never actually finished one before! Lol)  
  
I really apologise if that was crap, but seriously, I had a mental block, never mind writers' block. If you have any suggestions I would really like them, and they would happily be accepted. As would flames, any of them will be understandable, because I'll even say so myself that that chapter was crap. Anyway, mucho luv and hugs go to all my reviewers, and I'll update other stories asap. 


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